Tuesday, May 30, 2006

WHO SAID IT #19

"It is good to collect things, but it is better to go on walks."

A. The Fat fraud who hitchhiked across the country.
B. John Fowles
C. A whole lot of dogs
D. Anatole France

ug

WHO SAID IT #18

"I'm terrified the birth will go wrong or the child will have evil in him or her. Even worse my beautiful baby could be the devil himself -- the anti-Christ."

A. Kevin Federer
B. Barbara Bush
C. Meadow Soprano
D. Melissa Parker

dopey person gets free publicity revealing what a dope she is

Friday, May 26, 2006

WHO SAID IT #17

"Without a monkey, you are nothing, absolutely zero. Absolutely nothing."

A. Charles Darwin
B. P.T. Barnum
C. Admiral Rickover
D. Famous Amos
E. Joe Bush, last of the organ grinders

oh, well

WHO SAID IT #16 - AND OF WHERE?

"The food here, to me, is awesome. For me to be able to go through the line here ... and pass up the cheesesteaks and the pizza and the baked macaroni they had today, that's a great accomplishment for me. Last year, it was all bad. Every day it was pancakes, I have to drown 'em in syrup, like you can't even see the pancake anymore. That's not good."

A. Martha Stewart goes to IHOP
B. Thomas Keller's got a new place
C. Donald Trump discovers cafeteria dining in Jersey City
D. Frank Bruni continues his downmarket road trip
E. None of the above

right

Thursday, May 25, 2006

WHO SAID IT #15

"I don't think Jesus would be mad at me and the message I'm trying to send."

A. Rupert Murdoch
B. Ron Howard
C. Aleister Crowley IV
D. That Dixie Chick
E. Madonna (a singer from the old days)

yes

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

AND WHO, EXACTLY, IS ADAM RITA?

"It's like that old saying, when you get to the end of your rope, you tie a knot. We're the knot."

Adam Rita

A. Spokesman for the Old Sailor's Society
B. President, American Obstretician's Association
C. Prozac salesman
D. The Toronto Argonauts' vice president for football operations.

here

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

WHO?

"combined two types of utterances according to a rule ... " - a procedure perhaps analogous to forming a word from two sounds.

A. Philip Roth
B. George W.
C. Mike Tyson
D. the putty-nosed monkeys, Cercopithecus nictitans

a ha

Thursday, May 18, 2006

WHO SAID IT #14

"I'm not an exhibitionist. I really don't like attention. Whenever I get bored at fashion shows, I look down at my feet and say, 'Look at my cute shoes.' "

A. Condoleeza Rice
B. Cinderella
C. Rosie O'Donnell
D. Buster Poindexter
E. Noted author Kelly Killoren Bensimon

bah

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

WHO SAID IT #13 - RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES

''Do you think you are dealing with a 4-year-old child to whom you can give some walnuts and chocolates and get gold from him?''

A. Milton Hershey
B. Joseph Sexton, founder of the California walnut industry
C. Bond villain Goldfinger
D. Madman du jour Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

big trouble?

WHO WAS CALLED

"... that insane and evil man, who deserves to be covered with chains and whipped with a rod."

A. Alec Baldwin
B. Roger Clemens
C. Vaslav Nijinsky
D. Michael Moore
E. Tony Blair
F. 17th century philosopher Baruch Spinoza

they took the marketplace of ideas very seriously in the old days

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

WHO SAID IT #12 AND OF WHOM?

"He is the finest person you will ever meet."

A. Peter, of Jesus
B. Butch Casssidy, of the Sundance Kid
C. Saved Jews, of Raoul Wallenberg
D. Winnie the Pooh, of Christopher Robin
E. Saved Africans, of Albert Schweitzer
F. Sports reporter Susan Waldman, of injured New York Yankee Hideki Matsui

figure it out

Monday, May 15, 2006

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"An enlightened cannibal is still a cannibal.”

Leonard Cohen

here

Friday, May 12, 2006

WHO SAID IT #11

"Our sticks are important to us. Mine always has to feel light in my hands. When I'm struggling, maybe I will do something different with the length. I can tell if the stick feels an inch too long or an inch too short."


A. The Village People
B. The Village Voice editorial staff
C. A Sudanese death squad spokesman
D. Scott Gomez

oh, well

Thursday, May 11, 2006

WHO SAID IT #10

Some women move away from me while I kiss their feet and touch them. Some women kick me and scream. ... I do hold on, but not a long time. Just till they start screaming."

A. Donald Trump
B. "Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan
C. My uncle Mike, describing his amatory technique
D. Rush Limbaugh, thinking the mike was off
E. Don't tell me that Joseph Weir, New York's pervert du jour, is making another appearance

answer

Monday, May 08, 2006

WHO SAID IT #9

....he kissed her boot and shouted, "I'm not worthy!"

A. George Bush, to Condoleeza Rice
B. Woody Allen, to Scarlett Johansson, on the set of Match Point
C. Bud Collins, on first apprehending Chris Evert, Tracy Austin, Lindsay Davenport, Anna Kournikova, Maria Sharapavo, et al.
D. Subway pervert Joseph Weir, who would - "drop to his knees in front of women in near-empty subway cars, grip their ankles tightly and sometimes lick their shoes - then release them at the next stop and calmly walk away."

answer

Thursday, May 04, 2006

WHO SAID IT #8

"I was a peculiar young man β€” borderline Asperger's, I would guess."

A. Dan Quayle (oh, sorry, that was dyslexia)
B. Andrew Dice Clay (oh, sorry, that was Tourettes)
C. Terry Bradshaw (oh, sorry, that was just plumb stupidity)
D. Christine Jorgensen (oh, sorry, that was transgenderism)
E. Noted Scotsman David Byrne

answer, of course

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TomorrowKnows offers a takeoff on "Who Said It'

SportsQuotes is playing as well

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

WHO SAID IT #7

"Humans have the worst sperm except for gorillas and ganders of any animal on the planet."

A. Pamela Anderson
B. Paris Hilton
C. Mrs. Magilla
D. My first wife
E. Mother Goose
F. Sherman Silber, a high-profile urologist

how'd you guess?

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InsideDisney makes a pathetic attempt to jump on the 'Who Said It?' bandwagon

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

WHO SAID IT #6

"I'm going to dress like a Jew so that no one will check me."

A. Bobby Fischer
B. A. J. Soprano, on his way to knife Uncle Junior
C. Kentucky Derby entrant Sinister Minister
D. Bumbling would-be terrorist James Elshafay

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"I have to, you know, ask my mom's permission."

A. The Beaver, angling for a sleepover at Larry Mondello's
B. The President, to Dick Cheney, on whether he will attack Iran
C. The Arctic Monkeys, before getting the OK to tour America
D. Bumbling would-be terrorist, Shahawar Matin Siraj, accomplice to bumbling would-be terrorist James Elshafay

you figure them out

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"...wherever I go I am preceded by a toxic chill poisoning the very air.”

A. Dick Cheney
B. Mr. Freeze
C. George Clooney
D. John Cleese
E. Hans Jaeger, a pornographer and intellectual charlatan who has been well summed up by a British critic as a β€œfin-de-siecle Viking nihilist

you knew it all along, didn't you

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